“The woman died for other women to live; albeit inadvertently, Claret drove to her death in order to save other women from dying foolishly in vain.”
Apart from the death and burial of Queen Elizabeth II of England, popularly trending on the social media at the moment is the story of the female lawyer who reportedly drove herself to her death in Calabar, Cross River State.
The incident was quite sad and pathetic because it was another case of an unnecessary and avoidable death.
She was Mrs Claret Bassey (but I will prefer to call her Calabar woman, for the sake of emphasis).
The Calabar woman was said to have been married to Mr Sunday Bassey for 10 years before her tragic death few days ago. Claret and Sunday are both lawyers. They had, between them, three children, all boys.
Report had it that the deceased was informed by one of her friends that her husband was spotted at the Spar Shopping Mall in Calabar with a female companion, or a side-chick, in his car.
Acting upon the information, Claret reportedly entered into her own car and gave her husband a very hot chase.
“She suddenly reversed and tried to block the husband’s car from leaving the mall, the man maneuvered out of her path and hit the Murtala Muhammed highway.
“She gave them a hot chase and tried to double cross her husband’s car. She lost control and had a crash.
“Her husband took her to the hospital but alas she was already dead. Overcome with grief and regret, the husband crying profusely…,” a report had it.
The rationale behind her impulsive action cannot be unravel now that she is dead. It may not be improbable that the late Claret hotly chased her husband to cause a scene, either with the side-chick or the husband.
This piece is not an attempt to justify or condemn the action of the husband…
I dare not condemn. After all, let the man who is not involved cast the first stone.
In fact, it has not been verified or affirmed that the female companion in the man’s car was, indeed, his side-chick…
Even if he is eventually found to have emotional entanglement with the female companion, heavens will not fall jare- 99.9 per cent of sons of Adam are involved.
This is also not an attempt to apportion blames to the deceased Claret too…
After all, women are generally known to be extremely jealous, with some exemptions though.
An incontrovertible fact from the unfortunate incident is that the Calabar woman died a martyr, albeit ignorantly, and foolishly too.
A martyr because she died while she was only trying to protect her territory…
The late Claret may have, however, not died in vain.
The Calabar woman died passing on a very strong warning to other women with a tinge of jealous extremism in them.
The death of the Calabar woman is a warning to such women to apply caution. This is necessary so that they may not end up same way, dying foolishly in vain.
Though very educated and enlightened, the Calabar woman died foolishly. She was apparently ignorant of the mindset of God as regards the marriage institution.
Evidently, she died, not knowing that God is not really against polygamy or married men having some other women in their lives.
Her violent sad end may have also been informed by some wrong doctrines emanating from the pulpits as regards the issue of One Man, One Wife.
Many people are wont to say that God only approves of one wife unto a man.
Yes, some verses in the Bible averred to one man, one wife. But this has no scriptural absoluteness.
Paul, the Apostle, said whoever that seeks to be a bishop MUST BE the HUSBAND of ONE WIFE:
1 Timothy 3: 1-2:
“This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
“A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach.”
However, it is certainly not possible for all men to be ordained as deacons, pastors or bishops.
If God did not approved of having more than one wife, it would not have been written in the Book of Isaiah 4:1 that:
“And in that day, seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.”
It would not have been categorically declared in Exodus, Chapter 21: Verse 10, to wit:
“If he takes him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage [sex], shall he not diminish.”
Islamic injunctions also made it abundantly clear that a man can marry as many as four wives, but with a caveat…
Such a man must be up to the task equally before the four wives.
What the two Holy Books stated implicitly an explicitly is that a man is free to marry as many wives as he wants, provided he is up to the task in all ramifications.
The Bible contains stories of pious men who were after the heart of God. We were made to understand that they will occupy their rightful places beside God on Judgment Day.
Christians will readily describe Abraham as the Example of Faith. Yes, he was, in truth and in deed.
Abraham was rightfully married to Sarah. But God, using Sarah, allowed him to have another woman, Hagar.
Both Sarah and Hagar had male children- Isaac and Ishmael- for Abraham
Abraham, upon the death of Sarah, took unto himself another woman, Keturah.
Keturah exceedingly went ahead to have six more male children for the Father of Faith- Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak and Shuah (Genesis 25: 1-2).
All the children were not casted away but had inheritances in Israel as children of Abraham.
In fact, the children were part of the fulfilment of the covenant God had with Abraham namely, “I will make you a father of many nations”.
Jacob, otherwise known as Israel, was a grandchild of Abraham. He did what seemed to be sacrilegious!!!
Jacob married two sisters from same father- Leah and Rachael- who bore him eight sons.
Not yet done, Jacob took in Zilpha, the slave of Leah, who bore him two sons;
He also took in Bilhah, the slave of Rachael, who equally bore him two sons.
Yet, God did not visit the sins of polygamy on Jacob, but rather brought into manifestation, through him, the Covenant He had with Abraham.
In fact, the Bible is explicitly clear that the 12 children born to Jacob by Leah, Rachael, Zilpha and Bilhah were the 12 tribes of Israel.
Moses was the God-appointed liberator of the Israelites from their land of slavery, Egypt and slave-master, King Pharaoh.
Moses, a stammerer, had two wives, Zipporah and Tharbis (otherwise known as Adoniah), a princess from Cush (Ethiopia).
The Bible recorded that Dathan, Abiram and Korah led 250 people in rebellion against Moses and Aaron.
Moses, a polygamist, proclaimed his piety and holiness before God… He asked God to let them all die a death never known then in the history of mankind.
God hearkened to the prayer of the ‘sinful’ polygamist… The earth opened up and swallowed Dathan, Abiram and Korah and their 250 rebellious followers, along with their families.
Many people will want to say that all these happened in the Old Testament; that there is a new order in the New Testament!!!
Verily, verily I say to you that God Almighty is still in support of polygamy, to this day.
In fact, a nice place is reserved for pious polygamists in heaven, as proclaimed by our Lord Jesus Christ in Luke 13: 28:
“There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the Kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out.”
Indeed, the Calabar woman, in spite of her level of education and exposure (a legal practitioner), may have died foolishly ignorant or ignorantly foolish.
Claret died for the sake of the other women; albeit inadvertently, she drove to her death so that other women may live and not die foolishly in vain.
Herein the lesson in the sad and avoidable death of the Calabar woman: Women with jealous extremism should learn to live for themselves and their families.
Men should be moderate in chasing side-chicks; women must learn to put a rein on their extremist tendencies to avoid stories that touch the heart.
Claret, the Calabar woman, died so that other women, burning with jealous extremism, can learn, turn a new leaf and avoid dying in vain.
©Falade is Editor/CEO, Newscoven.com.
